愚人节英语笑话

愚人节是西方的节日，你听过愚人节的英语笑话吗?现在，就让我们感受一下外国的幽默，最好也把英语字典放在身边。

1.-What the day is it today?

　　-Today is April fools'day.

　　-Oh!you are wrong today is March the 31th.If you don't believe me please pick up the calendar.

　　-Oh!it is really April fools'day.

　　-Haha!you were cheated!

　　2.Wife talking to her husband (who reads newspaper all day): I wish I were a newspaper so I'll be in your hands all day.

　　Husband: I wish that too, so I could change you daily

　　3.A little boy asked his father: Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?

　　The father replied: I don 't know son. I 'm still paying!!

　　4.At midnight father saw that his married son leaving home... He asks him: what are you doing?

　　The son replied: Dad I am fed up with my life! My newly marriage is not going well, my wife and my mom keep fighting with each other! I have to pay bills for my mother in-laws, and I hate this life!!! I want to go far from here, I want to taste every joy of life, and I want to have every fun of life!!!

　　Father said: Wait!!!!!!!! I am coming with you

　　5.A woman goes to England to attend a 2-week company training session. Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.

　　The wife answered: Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?

　　The husband laughed and said: An English girl!!!

　　The woman kept quiet and left. Two weeks later he picked her up in the airport and asked: So honey, how was the trip?

　　The wife: Very good, thank you.

　　The husband: And, what happened to my present?

　　The wife: Which present?

　　The husband: What I asked for: the English girl?

　　The wife: Oh, that! Well, I did what I could; now we have to wait a few months to see if it’s a girl!!!

　　6.A couple goes to an art gallery. They find a picture of a naked woman with only her privates covered with leaves. The wife doesn 't like it and moves on, but the husband keeps looking. The wife asks, "What are you waiting for? " The husband replies, "autumn. "

　　7.A couple drove several miles down a country road with intense silence. Not a word was said to each other. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither wanted to concede his position.

　　As they passed a barnyard of mules(骡子) and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, "Relatives of yours? " "Yep, " the husband replied, "in-laws ".